Monday 30 November 2020

CRY OUT LOUD!

Sometimes the best you can do is CRY.......It’s just a normal response to an emotional statepain or grief. But beyond deep sadness there is feeling. It’s the pain that our lips cannot explain. Most people are overwhelmed and don’t even realize it. You may be heading home from work sitting in traffic, and all of a sudden tears begin to fall. In that moment you probably are thinking, what is wrong with me? Why am I crying? I’m not even sad! If you are unaware of the amount of stress your under, stress finds a way to express itself, whether you are expecting it to or not. Stress lives in the body and crying is one way that stress finds a release. So pay attention to the amount of stress you’re under, it may be contributing to your experience of crying for no reason.

Crying is a social expression of overwhelming sadness (and in some cases happiness too but that’s different). There are plenty of psychological and well as sociological constructs related to crying. These beliefs are held by some or all of us. Let me try and explain some of them here. So that we can all understand that crying or not crying is not really the issue, what we believe about crying however, is......

Some of the more positively held beliefs about crying:

·        Crying is about being in sync with emotions

·        Crying expresses an ability to feel emotion

·        Shedding tears means you are more human

·        Crying helps us feel better and we feel less pain

Some negative connotations about shedding tears:

·        Crying, especially publicly, is a sign of weakness

·        Crying is associated with being feminine

·        Crying makes us vulnerable and we feel exposed

·        Crying is a risk, based on the outcome of it

 

Not being able to cry is really not a deficit in the lacrimal glands or that one is dehydrated and there are no tears left. At a psychodynamic level, if a child was reprimanded in childhood for crying in public (usually by a strong and influential figure like a parent), this child would grow with the subconscious but strongly rooted belief that crying is wrong and hence this person would not be able to cry even when grown up. Whether this would be associated with another psychopathology like depression and anxiety, or the person could be suffering from apathy and not feeling emotions; will be determined only after detailed evaluation.

Crying is usual, normal, commonplace and something everybody does, Just that each one has different proportions and frequency of this behavior. After a while crying is not even associated with emotions. It becomes a conditioned response.

The mirror neurons in the human brain are wired to instill an emotional reaction exactly like the one perceived by the eye. Or sense the pain in the the mind. So if one reads about a brutal murder or watches a movie where someone is in pain and crying, we could feel the same emotion and shed dears even though this has nothing to do with us. But everybody’s mirror neurons are different, and so is their ability to cry. A doctor may cry when he or she sees their own child bleed but might not cry when a patient comes into the emergency room for treatment. Psychiatrists feel the pain of their patients but do not cry when their patients cry before them. But when they are hurt they might cry too.

Crying is a very learned behavioral response. Something deep down in the subconscious mind signals the lacrimation (crying) process and that is why we cry. So not crying is not a disorder. I’ve seen several clients come forth with this issue and after very detailed evaluation, it has been enlightening to know and understand reasons, make them aware of it, and well, empower them to cry more easily.

 

 


 

Monday 23 November 2020

IMAGINE A RICHER REALITY!

Albert Camus ones wrote, “In the midst of winter, I found there was within me an invisible summer.” We really don’t discover how powerful and resilient we are until we face some adversity that fills our minds with stress and our hearts with pain. Then we realize that we all have within us the courage and the capacity to handle even the greatest curse life may throw our way.

To improve your life, you must first improve your thinking. Or as the old saying goes, “We see the world, not as it is but as we are.” Our greatest human endowment is the ability to reframe and reinterpret a difficult circumstance in a more enlightened and empowering way. Dogs cannot do this. Cats cannot do this. Monkeys cannot do this. This gift belongs only to us and is part of what makes a human. Blaming our circumstances for the way we feel is nothing more than excusing ourselves. In handling any problem, we must have the courage to assume a measure of responsibilities for whatever situation we are in and then realize that we also have the capacity to use the setback to our advantage. Life’s greatest setbacks always reveal life’s biggest blessings.


 

Monday 16 November 2020

THE STEVE JOBS QUESTION!

 

Lately, I was thinking about the late apple C.E.O. Steve Jobs – his winning ways with the iPod, his transformation of Apple, his achievements with film studio Pixar. He was a bit interesting guy. Brilliant. Driven. Passionate.

Jobs spent some formative time in India. He studied with sages. He visited meditation retreats. He pondered life’s big questions. But, the only question which catched my attention was the one he used to ask himself every time he faced a big decision or choice point in life. “What would I do if this was the last night of my life?” I Loved It....

No one on their deathbeds ever regretted the risk they took. The place of least security is in the security zone, and in the end it doesn’t matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away. To live a life, it’s essential to take calculated risks – Often.

Think about how quickly life is passing and what needs to get done so you feel you played your best game as a human being and then walk out in the world and shine. Most people take the limits of their vision to be the limits of the world, but a few do not..... Join them. The life you see this very moment isn’t the life of you future. You might be viewing things through the eyes of your fear, limitations and false assumptions. Once you clean the stained glass window you will see the world through a whole new set of possibilities. We see the world not as it is, but as we are. Your thinking creates your reality.

If you have failed more than others, there is a good chance that you are living more completely than others. Those who take more chances and dare to be more and do more than others will naturally experience more failures.☺❤


Monday 9 November 2020

THE FIRST BLOG!

                                                      

We live in an age where we have forgotten what life is all about. We can easily put a person on moon, but we have trouble walking across the street to meet a new neighbour. We can fire a missile across the world with a pinpoint accuracy, but we have trouble keeping a date with our parents to go to the market. We can score 99% in our exams, but the score of our relations is still void. We have e-mail, fax, machines and digital phones to stay connected and yet we live in a world where human beings have never been less connected. We have lost touch in our humanity. We have lost sight of things that matter the most.

Hey to all those Busy People out there, I’m Gauri Soni and I’m finally here with my First Blog. So, this is going to be an introduction to what actually you will find here.

We all are very busy in our day to day schedule that we have started behaving more like Machines rather than Humans. We get happy over our big achievements, but we have forgotten to smile over the small things. We must remember that the things that are easy to do are actually the things that are not easy to do. The more the pace of our lives speeds up, the greater the impact of simple gestures of life will have on those most deserving of them. So, I’ll try my best to connect with you guys and make you all go through the inspiring life stories of some of the most stimulating people out there. You will get a Blog here every Monday to make your weekday start in a motivated way, so please show some love to it and your reviews are always welcome. And you can always contact me over my e-mail id.